Finally crawling out of the post-performance slump left behind by Albert Herring. I think maybe b/c I wasn't happy with the Saturday night performance, and then wasn't happy with my opera audition... out of the past two weeks I probably missed 7 days or more of school and work. Mostly sleeping too much and thoroughly, pathetically unmotivated to do anything--this was one of those times when I can hardly drag myself into the *shower*, let alone get out and get things done. When that happens I remember how "personal care" was one of things they make people do in a mental ward, and I sometimes would think, "who is SO out of it that they'd not shower / not brush their teeth / etc?" That isn't often me, thank goodness. Knew things were getting bad when I lost appetite and was sleeping through days that were gorgeous and sunny.
Made it to yoga Tuesday and Saturday, but not this Thursday. Taught more than half my student load this week, and looked through assignments and lesson tracking; it look like everyone except Chris is going to get their requisite time, so that makes me happy. I did a MUCH better job of keeping track of lessons this quarter; the notebook was a good first step. I think next will be a one-page attendance and grade sheet in Excel, like Swedberg's attendance sheet for yoga class.
Speaking of RS...
After yoga I talked to him some about summer foo; when I mentioned SFO auditions he volunteered a recommendation letter without my even asking. Vastly improved my mood for the day. He is just such a fabulous person to work with: centered, positive, wonderful calm energy. He really inspires me to pursue my own practice and fitness goals, which I think is one of the best things a teacher can do.
So, back to students - I still feel pretty bad about the amount of cancellations / flakiness. Some was due to the opera, some was due to outbreaks of depression and sleep dysfunction. I think the latter was really exacerbated by the hormonal issue I've been having; at least, the past two weeks when I've had crazy sleep issues, I've also been flooding like crazy AND having abdominal pains. Doctor says that since the stabbing, skewering pain went away fast, it's probably nothing to worry about... might have been a rupturing cyst or something. There have been a couple of milder incidences of a similar, sharply localized pain since then. Today the OTHER side started hurting, which was annoying (do I have TWO bad ovaries? What does this say about my getting pregnant?)
And a couple of days ago--just when I started to feel sanguine about getting myself together again, going to my lesson Monday, and singing this Britten piece--THAT, of course, is when the hormone thing starts happening with my throat. Feels perpetually thick and dry, almost like I have something in it, or as if there's a scab or something scratchy going on. Which means, right when I have to sing something high and quiet and difficult, I'm stuck with an instrument that has no upper range ease, and tires really fast. ARGH.
I'm trying to convince myself that the answer is to lose weight. Get lots of exercise, get in better shape, and MASTER the art of good self-care. That's the big goal for the summer.
I FINALLY started practicing again today. Feels like I've done nothing since the opera. I know that isn't REALLY true... I had the Russian aria for opera class, and I know I worked on it some during the week leading into it. Today was really minimal... just a quick warmup so that I could do some repetition and solidify the note-learning on this Britten aria (which I SHOULD have been working on for the past two weeks.) I'm feeling better now that I've made a credible start. And then Ana Maria was kind enough to put in some time to help me out with it, even though she's all stressed out and has a zillion things to do and a paper to finish by Tuesday. She's a GODSEND.
Tomorrow morning I will wake up early, do a little yoga, perhaps enjoy a morning walk; then I WILL go off to East Lansing for breakfast at Threadbear and a few hours of knitting. I really need some relaxing time, to be around nice people and chill out a bit.
I still need to take ST out for birthday (well, post-birthday, at this point) drinks and prezzie and social goodness. I really enjoy hanging out with him, and I'd like to have some social ties around that aren't necessarily school. Will have to ask what's in store for him next year; I know he had some major opportunities, but I heard that one company fell through on a role they offered him. :p Economy is really affecting everyone.
OK. Head hurting. Drink more water, then back to sleep. Feeling better.
No comments:
Post a Comment