Wednesday, January 9, 2008

I have come to believe...

...that there is no torture more profound than listening to recordings of my singing. This seems odd to me, since *other* people like to listen to me sing. I think it's something about the exposed nature of recording. Even if the piece seemed to go well and I'm happy about how I did, I listen to the recorded version and notice a million flaws. No consistency of support. Tiny problems with pitch. It's like being under a magnifying glass, or looking at my incipient wrinkles in a 10x magnifying mirror. It makes me scream inside.

I finished recording for UCLA; tomorrow I will edit, burn the CD, and send it. But I listened to some of what we recorded (in about 2 1/2 - 3 hours of solid work) tonight, and I hated it so much I had a crisis of confidence on the way to dinner. Is everyone else wrong? Why is it that I CANNOT listen to myself?

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