I just visited San Antonio for the Classical Singer conference—I went this year because they had a full track of lectures about career building and business skills (Friday and Saturday were all-day affairs, and I only skipped a two hour session on young artist programs, for obvious reasons!) Met Darren Woods and Robert Mirshak, both of whom were just fantastic.  I sang a mock audition (rather badly, I just came off a cold and not singing for WAY too long) for Mirshak and Eric Trudel. They both liked the instrument... the problem being I wasn't always ON it. Bow not fully on the string, which is an "I haven't been practicing" problem.  Ya THINK? Also did a brief consultation with Cindy Sadler, who gave tons of excellent advice both in her lectures and in the consult... look for a completely revised resume and new clips soon! While I was wandering about, I also ran into Juliana Gondek (worked with her at HPAF) and we went into raptures about Peter G, my current coach, who apparently she's known since he was a whippersnapper... hired in his early 20s by Geneva Opera. So, you know, by 'whippersnapper' I mean 'genius.'

One of my absolute fave people there was Cliff Forbis, a fabulous Heldentenor who came and chatted up a couple of us while we waited for the feedback auditions. I am totally embarrassed about not recognizing his name when he introduced himself, too... note to self: learn who the important Wagnerians are, doofus. He's a fabulously friendly guy, apparently a real family man, and just... the kind of person I would love to sit down and have a beer with.

Finally got in touch with Sheri Greenawald, too--I'm hoping to schedule with her soon, for at least a hearing and referral. I *really* need a teacher to be a good pair of ears for me and work on a few technical details.

I am totally revved, now, and going home to learn a few new arias and the Foreign Princess in Rusalka. Heading to Náměšť nad Oslavou, in the Czech Republic, for the Moravian Master Class this August. And after that, Graham and I are going to spend a couple of weeks together in Europe!!! FINALLY, a vacation together!!! I plan to stay long enough to see Rusalka at the National Theatre in Prague, and maybe Trovatore in Vienna. I'm currently looking for referrals to agents I might sing for over there, as well--I think the next few months will give me the time I need to polish things up.

Must hold on to the momentum!!! And remember that I am a startup, holding a unique commodity: a voice that people love to hear. A voice that reaches out and wraps you in a warm hug. I am worth all of the time, energy and money spent on refining and perfecting my product, and there is a market for my instrument and my skills. Added life experience? Sure, I'm five or ten years older than people I'm competing with for those initial jobs... but those years and experiences give me an edge as an actor.

I just need to realize my own value, and the value of what I have... and DO IT. Robert Mirshak said a lot in one of his talks about faith: faith in one's talents, faith that you have a purpose, faith that you'll realize your goals. So much of that resonated with me--strongly enough that I started getting choked up, in his talk on Saturday.

I've been hiding way too long. From the work, from myself, from the world. I think it's time to come out.